Dear Humans

DEER hOOmanz,

We r writing to inform u(not how to spell that!) [Must be how to spell it!]we can spell good! dat we are not creepy. We do not hurt ur peeple. GAIS! GAIS! LOOK! LOOKIT! quiet, u!
Peeple call us bad but we r nut.
I LIEK LETRZ!
We r letrz!
We leik those fore-legd things and the odder fore-legged tings.
We alsso leik da 2-leggd things. We leik dem lotz. We hugs der brains. Hug. Hug. Hug.
Sometims it gets 2 much. They go all cracked. Smooshy red goo comes out.

[I dun leik da goo.]
{THE GOO.}
YAY! YAAAAY! GOO! IT tastes like STRIIIIFE. STRIFE IS GOOD FOOD.
So, wen da goo is everywhere, we move da hooman-carcasses. But dat's ok.
(I want 2 rite nao!)
So, we are givn u gaiz dis lettr so yuu will stop ritin scary storys bout uz. bee-cuz dat is hao hoomans wurk.
{I ARe gOud at spelLin.)
I LEIK TYPin.
So we are usin ds cammypooter und pirnter to give u gaiz dis letr.
We leik playin puppets with da carcasses. Dey talk fun. Sometimez dey start to smell bad. Dey maik lil white hard things shaped leik peeplz. Deese can be used to throw at wallz, specilly wen ur board.
We wuld alsso leik to b calld sumthin odder dan Unown.
{STEVE IS A GOOD ONE!~}
[I leik 'farklz'.]
cn we be spoolks?
{SpOlkz dunt exists! It's flluunntnick.}
ASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKLASDFGHJKL
Dnt do dat!
We gots trainerz dat leiks us. My bestest trainer iz nice. Her hed caym off do. I put it in da chamberz. Is coldr. Da head dnt smell bad. Dunno hao it caym off. I wuz hugging it hard.

Dnt mind da pink gushy brainz on da pirnted paper.
{BREAKFAZT BuRrIto!}
It iz not brainz. Iz puding. Yay.
Mean yelly peepls came in...We go now?
OK...baibai.
grhuaguigadajixdfsuhjxdfsfhfdilhsdafadigupihoulsdfighsfjgbaslkjbgswdddddgfhgsdjjsgsdgjgj!?!?!?!?!

-Sned: Da Unown.